The marketing element no one warns you about when adopting

If you want to read more about my story. Just click here

Yesterday I opened up my Pandora’s Box and did my very first post. I got so many amazing responses and a few requests about the adoption process. My heart smiled.

The word adoption evokes images of cute toothless smiles, fresh baby smell and all round deliciousness to me. I have since amended that to exclude the baby smell and am now of the opinion that baby smell is a myth. A brilliant Johnson and Johnson marketing strategy. Quite often Kennedy smells of vomit and poo until I smother her in the lovely baby lotions and potions. BINGO fresh baby smell, all is well with the world.

What adoption does not make me think of is marketing. Yet it exists. This is where prospective parents will market themselves in a little book called a profile book. In the loosest of terms this is your advertisement to birth mothers. This little booklet would market my family to parent the baby growing inside the woman reading it.

The adoption specialist brought out a few examples for Sergio and I to get an idea of what one would look like. In front of me were beautiful photo books and professionally bound books, books that were written like children’s story books, illustrations and everything. I was speechless.

Illustration by Jim Hunt

Illustration by Jim Hunt

You see I suffer from acute anti-pick-me-syndrome. It’s a severe condition where I rebel when I have to try and be chosen. It probably stems from the playground. You see I was the overweight child that always got picked last. Always Last. Don’t feel sorry for me. I’m slimmer now. Now I get picked last in my skinny jeans.

This profile however is completely necessary for the birth mother to get a mental picture of where this child will be growing up. So you need to accurately portray your life without them running for the hills.

I was in need of some serious spin doctoring here. How else am I to portray my life that is filled with chaos and a smoothie family and still be the “dream”

*Smoothie Family – A deliciously blended family.
**My smoothie – 1 Part Mother, 1 part stepfather, 2 parts half-sisters, 1 part step-brother plus 1 part step-adopted-out-brother, add in a few biological mothers and fathers and mix with a huge dollop of love. Everything in excess. Not a single granny though. Go figure.

Basically we are more modern family then Brady bunch.

Will these young woman see through the chaos and see the love? I kept seeing the divorces, yes plural, there were more than 1. The single mum diaries. The daddy’s that decided parenting was not for them and dusted out there like we were debt collectors. To make matters worse we rent a cosy aka “pokey” little 2 bedroom flat in a questionable part of town that I am quite sure would be nobody’s first choice.

Would this all count against us? Will they think we are good enough? How can I make us seem like the couple?

I had a plan. Our book was going to spectacular. Better than my wedding invitation. Which I had done twice. I even when to repossess the ones we had given out because it wasn’t good enough. [Insert laughing]

I was going to distract them with tinsel and glitter. I was thinking copywriters, graphic designers, maybe even a feather boa. Anything to make us standout.

If you know me, even a little, you will know that I am partial to a bit of theatrics. Everything in our home is a huge event. I am literally every little girls dream mummy. My husband’s words not mine.

Let me put it to you this way. I have never seen a party decoration that I didn’t like.

I was busy drill sergeant-ing {new word} my husband to go and buy this and paste that. I was having a mini crises. Thankfully one sane friend brought be back down to a mild panic and I scrapped the original monstrosity.

I meditated. I don’t make a habit out of anything that requires me to stop talking for too long. You know this was serious. I knew I had to write from the heart. The rest was playing semantics.

My tips for any prospective adoptive parent would be this.

  • Write about each other so that you don’t come off as total douche-bags telling the world how amazing you are. That’s just bragging.
  • Pictures. Nothing beats pictures.
  • Also a bit of humour won’t hurt. Makes you look less desperate plus everyone likes a good chuckle.

Heres a look at a few pages that were in my book. We bought a plastic flip file and printed our book on plain white paper. In full colour. WHAT? I am not mad, there had to be something eye catching.

If I do say so myself, it was magic.

Adoption Shoot

From our previous pregnancy “adoption” shoot

Letter to the birth Mother

Slide4

Slide8Things My husband loves listed by me

Lavernes family picturedin a collage Slide12Slide14

Slide15

Slide16Full disclaimer: My husband may be accused of many things, wordsmith will never be one of them. Though the sentiments we all his. I did copy write his bits. All the quotes in brackets are quotes that resonated with us. Clearly no professional was used for graphic design. My years in corporate did teach me how to design a PowerPoint slide. Photoshop didn’t exist when I entered the work force.

Don’t Judge.

If you want to read more about my story. Just click here

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